1) Why be bothered with things like spelling, grammar, and punctuation? These things are not necessary, so long as you can send emails in a pretty blue colours with bolds and italics.
2) Throw those books out the window! Who needs book-learnin'? I sure as hell don't!
3) Always wipe back to front. It helps soothe the herpes and makes a nice, healthy pile of hemorrhoids. Plus, as a bonus, it pre-loads a projectile to throw at those horrible, horrible smartays.
4) The AIAS are geniuses. Obey them like gods. They will direct you through all of life's little, and big, questions.
5) Never prove a point, just call them an idiot. Just like any good christian would tell someone they're going to hell, just tell a smartay they're an idiot. The weaker ones will crumble easily, the others will just take some time.
6) Remain steadfast in childish mentality. Young in mind, young in.......um......something.......um......wait......almost there......right on the tip of my....um......oh crap.
7) Spread The Word. Let everyone in the world know just how much of an idiot you are. Be proud of your stupidity and flaunt it in the faces of all the smartays you come across. They'll clearly be jealous that you're something they could never be without a full-frontal labotamy and isolation in a 4x4 room with nothing to read but Rev Magazine.
8) Be The Biggest Idiot You Can Be. The dumber, the better. If we keep it up, then the smartays will refuse to live anywhere near us. We'll push them back to the far corners of the earth.