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If you thump me, will it not hurt?

So, I realize that there's some bible-thumping happening in my guestbook, so of course this means a little warfare.  I went to this Living Waters website which turns out to be just another one of those cults.  They have their own bible called the "Evidence Bible".  This seems a little hypocritical since religion is based on faith alone and if you call something the "evidence" whatever, then you're contradicting the concept of faith by "proving" the rightness or credibility of the religion.
Go to;action=display;num=1058736583;start=0 to read MY post on HIS forum.  I should've told 'em off more but I'm not quite so abrasive about religions, at least not to their faces, lol.  You can go to the guestbook on the main page of this site to see what this Ray Comfort person (fake name, obviously) wrote in MY guestbook.
Man, do I ever fucking hate bible-thumpers, they so reek of total suckitude.

So I get some hatemail from a bible-thumper and it had nothing to do with my arguement, it's all in good christian form.  Never argue with someone's point, just tell them they're going to hell.:
You obviously do not like Ray or anything Christian. However when you stand before God on judgment day what will you say to Him before He casts you into hell? You can believe that there is no God if you want to but just as sure as the bed you sleep in had a manufacturer so did the body that sleeps in that bed had a maker. Did you know that one cell in your body had millions o little bits of information on a tiny thin substance called DNA. This information tells everything about you it is the blue print for your make up. Deny God if you would like to deny him all the way to hell but it does you no good because he is there and he does not want you to go to hell and neither do I. I pray for you and trust me on one thing all that you said to Ray did not shock him or stop him he has had worse said to him many times. I suggest before you attack the bible that you get one and read it and look at all the evidence of it's proof. Written in a period of over 1600 years by 40 different authors in three different languages and yet the bible is totally agreeable from Genesis to Revelation.
So of course I write an email in response.  By this point, however, I've become more of a total asshole to these people.:

Dear Mr/Mrs Granberry,

It's not that I don't like anything Christian, I just don't like anyone forcing their beliefs on me. Just as you wouldn't appreciate me coming over to your house/forum/website and blabbing on about my beliefs (which do NOT include hell or heaven, so don't talk to me about those things). I just have one question.......aren't you contradicting the concept of faith by saying that the Bible that you follow contains evidence of truth? The idea of faith is that you believe in something without proof of its existence or validity. Thus, your people's constant battle in which you attempt to "prove" your righteousness with the Bible is blasphemous is it not? You people must learn to be much more humble and more or less just keep to yourselves much more than you do currently.

Also, I don't give a sweet flying fuck if I stopped little Raymond from completing his magical religious quest to get that new Lexus in the driveway and then convert to mormonism so he can pick up 5 more wives. You people are a parasite and though I won't be getting my hands and feet dirty from squashing every one of you, I've been feeling the need as of late to get restraining orders against every Christian in the world and have them wear electrified ankle bracelets while helicopters plot their migration patterns.  Anytime they come within 50 countries of me, they get electrocuted to death, then the bracelets would release a nice cornicopia of potpourri so your rotting corpse won't smell so bad.  I simply hope you people all learn to stop forcing yourselves upon other people, we're quite happy with ourselves and if that ever changes, then WE'LL CALL YOU, don't stop in uninvited or I might have to keep a shotgun loaded in the front porch.

Do take care and send lots of love to your mother, she didn't move a whole lot in bed last night but she was still good and tight in the asshole.

Have a nice day, toodles!


Y2Munky ;)

Finally, I got a response to that email, this one's just beautiful.:
First of all my mom did not sleep last night at all she has been dead for five years.I know where she is and it is a place you will never be unless you repent of your sins and turn your life over to Jesus. Second of all i am not going to try to convince or prove anything about my christian faith to you because you are not going to hell because you do not have a belief in Jesus many will be there with that did believe in Jesus but you are going to hell because you sin and the wages of sin is death. You lie so therefore you are a liar. You lust after someone that is not your mate so therefore you are an adulterer. You steal so therefore you are a thief. You hate therefore you are a murderer. Unless you repent you will in no wise enter into the kingdom of God. Third for over two thousands years governments and many other powerful organizations have tried to silence the message of Jesus Christ and they have been utterly defeated. So Sorry the message is here to stay. Fourth you came into my space with your slutty whorish mouth and I never did that to you. So from the e-mail address that you came to me with I am putting on my block sender list. Have a nice life in this world because it is the only hope you got unless you repoent and earnistly i pray you will repent and turn to Jesus.
Thank you prince Valiant.  Also, I didn't go into his space with my "slutty whorish mouth" (not very christian words), he started with me.  Therefore, he invaded MY privacy just like Ray Comfort did and I still feel molested from the whole situation.  Therefore, I have the grounds to block HIM from MY email, not the other way around.  I'm not gonna stop good ol' Jimmy from blocking me since I am done playing with him, I just wanted to prove a point with that one.  I will now insult what he just used to argue with me....:
"You lie so therefore you are a liar. You lust after someone that is not your mate so therefore you are an adulterer. You steal so therefore you are a thief. You hate therefore you are a murderer."
First off, that first statement is a waste of energy for anyone.  Secondly, I can't lust after a dead person nor can I commit adultery with a DEAD PERSON.  Thirdly, what (other than their dignity) did I steal?  Is it because I proved you wrong and you ran out of places to hang yourself from Jimmy, is that the problem?  And finally, the funniest fucking line I've ever heard in any arguement "You hate therefore you are a murderer."........excuse me while I wag.  Jimbob's a little too easy to insult so I won't even bother wasting my time typing out the table of contents for it let alone the whole thing.
I hope he has fun in heaven with his dead, sodomized, mother.  I really should get her back to the graveyard before anyone notices.  I'm sure the gravedigger must've finished off those three platefulls of cut up hotdogs that I traded for the use of this corpse.  It's a shame, though, she held up my bookshelf so nicely...