The Sketch Pad
Adventures In Stupidity (Part 3)
The Apocalypse
Idiot Of The Year!
Fuck Jarrod In His Stupid Ass!
Adventures In Stupidity
Adventures In Stupidity (Part 2)
Adventures In Stupidity (Part 3)
WWE = Weak Wrestling Emulation
The Goth Culture
Ye Olde Bible-Thumpers
EMO Rant
Txtzine Butchering
This Month's Feature
Higher Education
Ripsaw Interview
Contact Me

He just keeps going, and going, and going....

I get the feeling that he really does like to hurt himself....
Check out the email I got from him:

"heh, you really are clueless.....calling me stupid. Ocarina of Time was rated best game ever by AIAS, not PC gamer, is OoT a PC game no, is PC gamer the worlds most highly acclaimed source for VG ratings, no. AIAS has rated OoT best game in history every year up to this point, since its release. And you once again you dont know anything about video game standards. SNES is without a doubt the greatest system ever created, it may not be capably of 128 bit graphics, but that counts for nothing, the quality of its games are beyond anything seen in recent days, though there are a few exceptions. And what i have to laugh at most is how through all this, you have yet to proove your point in how Halo is a great game."

He still can't spell and I still have no clue as to who these AIAS people are, never bothered with them I guess.  I suppose I'm not as much of a dork as he is when it comes to games.  So anyways, here's my huge, lengthy response to his raging idiocy:

"I'm pretty sure that you're the clueless one douchebag. Y'see, first off, I wasn't saying that Ocarina Of Time was a PC game, I was using that rating as a reference to the timeframe at which Ocarina Of Time was rated the best game of all time, what other games were around during that time, and what other consoles were around at the time. Secondly, you're fucking retarded. Thirdly, I agree that the Super Nintendo is the most solidly built system of all time. It revolutionized video gaming by having graphics capabilities we could only dream of back then. It made a huge technological leap in video games and ensured Nintendo's death-like grasp on the video game industry all over the world.

Now, you're accusing ME of never saying how Halo is a great game, yet I did that in one of the first emails I sent your sorry ass. Just in case you've forgotten, I'll re-explain why it's such a good game.

1) Very nicely done graphics with tons of great effects (like active camouflage and PROPER explosions from frag grenades).

2) Endless replay value in the multiplayer department (play up to 16 players on 4 XBoxes linked or use the gamespy tunnel on your PC to patch the XBox through to play online)

3) There's no stupid, repetitive inventory of weaponry (each weapon has its own strengths and weaknesses, strategies, and usually ammo types), there's no omnipotent weapons like in bad games like Quake or Doom, and the realism of only being able to carry two weapons at a time is great.

4) Two factions of enemy forces who also fight each other when they meet. You can sit there in the shadows and just wait to pick off certain troublesome enemies as they come by. The covenant being a very well designed race with some definitely well-designed AI. They run if they're overpowered, take cover, assault in groups, communicate with each other, use grenades when necessary, and can engage in hand-to-hand combat when their opposition gets too close for comfort. Albeit, the grunts are little wusses by themselves, but in groups they can easily kill you.

5) The game revolutionized first-person-shooters as we know them. The control scheme set the tone for every other console FPS that came out afterwards (at least the good ones). The game flows together nicely and with hardly any load-time at all in multiplayer and only a short load-time in single/coop-player, you can just pop the game in and play whenever you want. The ability to properly use vehicles and even have multiple people in the vehicle at once made multi- and even single/coop-player modes even MORE interesting. Playing capture the flag in multi in a warthog with someone manning the turret and another person firing from the passenger side is better than just walking to their base for fun value and sometimes effectiveness.

6) Nice assortment of mission lengths, some missions are shorter while others can take an hour or more. The addition of the Banshee useable by the character added yet another dimension to the game, being able to fly and do strafing runs made it so much fun and changed the tempo of the mission altogether.

7) The choice between stealth and power is available in most areas (unless you're an idiot and just run around, guns blazing). Much larger opportunity for more realistic firefights than I've seen in any other game (again, unless you're an idiot and just run around, guns blazing).

So there you go, these are the reasons why I like the game so much. That, and I played so many hours of multiplayer against all of my friends and it's basically OUR game when we think about it. We all play Halo and are all at different levels of skill. A game with some great AI and graphics is nice, but a game that gives me great memories of playing it are the best.

You, on the other hand, have yet to explain why you seem to like Ocarina Of Time so much, other than "Professionals said it was" and "It's perfect as perfect can be". Those have been your two flagship reasons so far, so basically you've been doing nothing but trying to fight the dumb fight. You've been this little incessant whore of intelligence and really it's doing nothing but annoy me, yet it entertains me at the same time. It's annoying that you're this stupid, but it's so entertaining that you keep my magazine going with the great articles you're helping me write.

Besides, this arguement will never go anywheres except on my magazine for all my friends to read and laugh at. Neither one of us will win except for when I win after you give up. Even if I was to lose the arguement for some special, magical reason, I'd still win in the long run for making you look like such a tool this entire time. You won't even accept the fact that you're being such an idiot, like you're fucking jesus christ superstar for repeating the name AIAS like they're gods or something. Fuck you, fuck your AIAS, fuck your Ocarina Of Time, it was a fun game while it lasted for me, then I sold it for $5.

And one last big fuck you to this stupid arguement, you're a fucking little insignificant oxygen thief who, if I were to meet you face to face, I would seriously berate you in front of a large crowd of intelligent people and jerks while they all point and laugh at you. I would make you either cry or strike out in rage and if the latter of the two happened, I would humourously defeat you in hand-to-hand combat. I would make you my bitch and make you scream and cry until you sang the entire score of Oklahoma backwards in spanish.

Then, and only then, would I ever let you go. Until that day happens or until you either shut the fuck up or smarten the fuck up, I'll keep berating you and showing it to hundreds of people daily. I'm really keeping my finger on the idea of just getting everyone I know to email you and tell you you're a complete douche. Then I would make an entire website devoted to your stupidity and it would serve as the basis for your own religion.

You're a fucking fecophilial porchmonkey of a shit-flinging mongoloid douchehole cocksucker motherfucker bitch of a slutty little dutch stool-riding asinine renal-jizz wastepile. Don't ever forget that....oh yeah, and jesus loves you!

Have an extra special day!


So there you have it.  Hopefully he adds another couple of chapters to this article.  It's getting way too long so soon enough I'll just be making an entire site about this one.