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He just keeps coming back for more...

Douchey McDouchehole decides he's gonna one-up me, even though that's not going to work. If I can't beat someone with logic for any reason, then berating them in sick, comical ways is the next phase. That one usually breaks their spirits, especially when there's other people around to point and laugh at the idiot and join in on the insults.

However, I do believe I can take care of this one myself. I get this email in the inbox today:



Subject: Re: No, really, you're a huge retard.

Date: Tue, 23 Dec 2003 20:47:51 EST

want me yo tell you why halo sucks?

His spelling STILL sucks. Like, how could you NOT proofread an 8-word sentence? It takes two seconds to read it again. Apparently he just couldn't wait to be insulted.

"Do me again! You're such a funny funny man!!"

Well, it'd be more like "Du mei aggauo@Tour sukc q funny. funnu mn?one"

So I respond with the first thing that rolls off my fingers.

"It's because you're a retard, isn't it?"

Then he feeds me even more material to work with:

Subject: Re: No, really, you're a huge retard.
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2003 11:22:33 EST

do you know anything about video game standards? I mean really, anybody with enough mental ability to spell their name knows that ocarina of time is as perfect as perfect gets, and that halo was a waste of time. And i suppose all
those gaming websites and magazines that gave ocarina of time are stupid too, i mea after all they are PROFESSIONALS ans they know video game standards better
than anybody, and even they were amazed at how hight ocarina of time raised the standards. and lets not forget AIAS, some of the most honored and intelligent people in the entire gaming industry, who game ocarina of time not only game of the year, but also greatest game of all time. until you can stop making ignorant n00b comments, stfu, some more advice, go buy a super nintendo with
some good games like Final fantasy IV and VI, zelda a link to the past, super metroid, chrono trigger, and anything else thats good, each one of those games makes halo look like a joke.

I love how he spelled noob with two zeros. It's almost as funny as his mental state by this point. He's drawn himself out to the end and ran out of points, now is my time to just berate the hell out of his faults. Oh, and make fun of his poor typing skills, that usually pisses them off. Pissing a person off makes your verbal lashing go much deeper into their fragile little psyche as you point out every single error they have made and how much of a tool they've really been.

I've led him around in circles and started to get under his skin, now for the assault. I hope he cries after this one:

Oh so now you're comparing Super Nintendo games to Halo? It's one thing to say that Ocarina Of Time is your favourite game or that it's a GOOD game or whatever, those are completely legit. However, comparing super nintendo games to XBox games is quite the gap to be bridging douchehole. Just because a game is good doesn't mean it can beat every other game out there. You need to calm down on your over-zealous opinion on this game for one quick second while you think: "When was this game rated the best game ever? Who rated it as the best? What was around to compare it to at that time?". I have an issue of PC Games right here by my side that rated the greatest games of all time and, oh wait, what's this? Total Annihilation was rated the best game of all time in this magazine....strange....oh wait, that's because it's from August 1998, back when Quake II was considered the greatest thing since sliced bread (yet it only made #2 strangely).

Just because some guy up high says something's the greatest doesn't mean it's the greatest. You're still pressing with this as being the only selling point of Ocarina Of Time being the greatest game of all time. "Well they said it was!". Do you believe everything they say on TV, asshole? Did you always do what your parents told you? Do you wipe back to front? There's gotta be something wrong in your head to carry this arguement this far.

Oh, and for the record, everyone I talk to who's played Halo for any length of time either states that it's a much better game or they laugh at the debate because it really just doesn't make sense. How's about we compare oranges to skyscraper designs next? You're chasing your own tail this entire time and all I do is continue to post this conversation anywhere where people would appreciate the comical value and get them to point and laugh. I suppose the next step is to let everyone in on your email addy so they can email you themselves to tell you how much of a tool you're being right now. We'll start a religion devoted completely to your overpowering stupidity. Members will do nothing but play super nintendo games, wipe back to front, and praise complete ignorance.

You're a prime example of the average human being....You're stupid but you try. It never surprises me anymore when people turn out to be abnormally retarded socially and logically, yet it never ceases to entertain me.

Keep on fighting the dumb fight little trooper, maybe someday you'll make it. I believe in ya buddy.